Friday, 22 April 2011

Skoda Jokes

Welcome to Skoda Jokes! On this website you will find the definitive source of the best skoda jokes around.

1. How do you double the price of a skoda?
Fill up the tank

2. Why do skodas have heated rear windscreens?
To keep your hands warm while your pushing it.

3. Have you got a wing mirror for a skoda?
Okay, seems like a fair swap

4. What do you call a skoda driver who say's he has a speeding ticket ?
A Dreamer

5. How do you double the value of a skoda?
Chuck a penny in it.

6. What do you call a Skoda with a sun roof ?
A skip

7. Ive just bought the new 16 valve Skoda .......4 in the engine, 12 in the radio! (If you understand this and your under 40 then you need to get out more)

8. What is the difference between being inside Katy Price's bra and being caught inside a Skoda?
You feel a bigger tit in a Skoda !

9. What do you call a Skoda at the the top of a hill ?
A miracle.

10. How do you overtake a Skoda ?
Run

11. What is the difference between a school and a Skoda?
Schools breaks up and a Skoda breaks down

12. Why is a skoda and a baby similar?
They both never go anywhere without a rattle

13. Why did the skoda cross the road?
It was supposed to be going along it but the steering failed

14. What do you call a Skoda with a really long radio aerial?
A bumper car

15. What colour shall i get my skoda in?
It doesn't matter, it'll go brown through rust after a week

16. How do you make a policeman laugh?
Tell him your skoda just got nicked

17. I bought the top spec skoda, this one came with an engine.

18. Tom: 'I was gonna buy a passat but I bought a mondeo instead'
Harry: 'I was gonna buy a skoda but i bought a bike instead'

19. How do you make a skoda more sporty?
Wear adidas trainers while driving it.

20. Whats the difference between stress and a skoda?
Stress makes you have a mental breakdown.

Monday, 18 February 2008

Motor jokes & Car Jokes

Although we're called skoda jokes, we dont just restrict ourselves to the misfortune of that one little brand. Here are some general motor and car jokes for you to get your teeth into.

The Typical Wife
A policeman stopped a man driving with his wife because they were going 90mph in a 70mph area. 'You were just going 90mph' the cop said.

'No i wasn't' the man replied. The wife cuts in and says ' i always tell you not to drive so fast'. 'Will you shut up' the man shouted.

'You were also not wearing a seatbelt' the police man said.

'I was'

Again the wife says 'you really should wear a seatbelt dear'. 'I thought i told you to shut up!' the man said.

'Excuse me' the cop said ' but does your husband always speak to you like this?'
The wife replies, 'Oh no, only when he's drunk'.

Old Drivers
A man aged 74 was driving down the motorway when his mobile started to ring. Whe he answered it, his wife sternly warned, 'It just said on the news that there's a man driving the wrong way down your section of the m4!'
'One of them?' he replied. 'There's hundreds of them!!!'

Friday, 15 February 2008

Skoda Jokes- skoda crash

Hello skoda joke lovers!
I recently noticed that one of my personal favourite viral videos on youtube featured a skoda as the starring role. Now i dont know whether this makes the skoda look bad or teh skoda driver but all i know is it's one of the best skoda jokes out there. A lot of people blame the crash on the woman driver (hence the title) however i think we know the real cause.

Thursday, 14 February 2008

Our Disclaimer

For the benefit of skoda drivers we have to declare the following:
These jokes aren't to be taken seriously as if you are a skoda driver you have bought a very ... umm... practical car. These jokes represent the old skoda and by no way the new improved version of our favorite brand.

We also want to hear about your skoda. Take the oppurtunity to tell us how great your skoda is and then we can put it in the ever bigger skoda joke section.